“A young girl has recently told me a secret: she is absorbed in Emo’s world. She is sure: she is Emo. Her words are fool of emotions and fear, she says about mental overstrain, strong emotional exhaustion etc.

She is fascinated by Emo music, reads about Emo in the Internet, in magazines, she created even her own Emo cite. The girl has just begun learning at school. She considers herself a lesbian; she tells very dramatic about her feeling of strong emotional pane. She is highly prospered, lives with her parents, who don’t understand what happens to the daughter. I’m their family friend and the one grown up to whom she can entrust.

I please you about some advice to help this young girl. May be, there are any especial questions to ask her? How can we switch her over on mental standard? What have I pay attention to that she says?
Thank you to pay me your time and attention.”

We have asked the Doctor of Philosophy and Psychology Joseph M Carver to answer our reader’s questions. Here is what he said:

“Teenagers’ period is very difficult for many boys and girls. They go through self-definition stage, caparisoning themselves with their parents and coevals. The teenagers look for support of the individuality by different coevals’ groups, which are bounded at secondary school, for example gothic, sport or skateboards amateurs, etc.

Emo is an essence, which exaggerates alienation feelings and emotional experience of many teenagers. Besides it supports teenagers’ confusion in the question about sexual belonging, coevals’ and grown up’s relations, and also depression. Teenager, who feels loneliness, deep depression, goes to influence of Gothic or Emo subculture, meeting here another teenagers, also confused, alienated and in mental experience. Unfortunately those support which as if is giving by such groups, makes longer mental sufferings in deed, stimulating the following alienation.

Quite possible, the girl is under pressure. I’d like to recommend you as a grown up, who can support pure girl, to pay especial attention to her oppressed condition, emotional pane and other symptoms of depression. Focusing only on Emos is not a good idea, because group accentuates on alienation, but not on return to normal healthy way of life. If grown ups drink because of depression and focusing on drinking they can loose the main thing which helps.

Talk to her – the adults have the same symptoms: they avoid fantasy, feel confusion, have troubles with concentration and etc. Tell how adults behavior in such times (they ask for advise, try to avoid new troubles). Mention that 15% of pupils from her class can’t finish school because their emotional troubles put them to another side: drugs, alcohol, pregnancy, “passions” and etc. Try to convince the girl to ask for help her parents, they help with treatment and solving the problem. This period in teenager’s life is very difficult, she needs support and admonition of her family, but not deranged advises from the Internet. She needn’t her own Emo cite, it’s unnecessary.”

P.S. If you have something to add to Doctor’s advice you can give your comments. It’s opened for experiment. Try to speak out with restraint, please.

In his speech, the deputy director of FBI John Pistol, has gave the following frightening information: “According to our estimations, MS13 already consists of almost 10 000 members, but the gang continues the strengthened recruitment, staking on pupils of secondary and higher schools”. Having heard it, two of our friends who has sons of 12 and 14 years old, have been shaken. We knew that their children learn Spanish, constantly listen to “Punk” and “Gothic” “noise” on their iPod and once they even told one of the girl-friends, the 12 years old girl, about a scene in Washington where Emo arose 20 years ago, and now, again revives, after oblivion.
Emo is a musical genre which units punk, gothic style and emotional hardcore. Emos are accused almost of everything – increasing of a children’s suicide, carrying black clothes, terrible black hair, shabby T-shirts with skulls, depression propagation and wrecking in music, thus stupid doctors even try to treat them, prescribing energizers. Emos are often exposed to sneers and intimidation by the coevals who don’t like their music. But Emos aren’t in need of friends, mobile phones and the Internet allow them to create world of their own and not to feel lonely themselves.

But there is another danger – Emo’s appearance attracts unnecessary attention. Among “Latinos” who appreciate cult of “courage”, the attack of Emo became a condition of joining to gang members. This custom is famous in Mexico, Texas, California here in Washington. Members of gang MS13 take initiation trough torment and outrage of captive Emo-boys and girls in the most awful way, thus the gang also consists of girls from 12 to 20 years old. Suddenly we have understood why suicides took the third place among death reasons of pupils in colleges. Let’s ask ourselves, what do we really know about our children’s life?

The teenage period is the most difficult turning point of our life. The child’s place and role in the world suddenly changes. It becomes difficult to come to understanding with their parents who do not understand them, do not know meaning of many words and expressions which are usual in the teenage society. Children one by one run into their problems.

Often, an arisen vital problem by teenager is so painful, that becoming Emo is the only way out for some of them. Sometimes the child gets thoughts about suicide. The part of suicide attempts occurs spontaneously and careful parents must in time notice guarding changes in behavior of the son or the daughter. Depression, deep sorrow, giving out of personal things is some of them. But, unfortunately, we happen are too busy to notice signs of an approaching trouble.

Someone advises to limit teenagers at home cruelly, the others, on the contrary, suggest to give them more “own space”. There is an opinion among adults that the unsuccessful teenage love affair doesn’t matter, forgetting, that at 15 it can become a main cause of the future tragedy.

And now we all six of us have understood, how stupid is to discuss world problems when we are not able to stop splash of children’s criminality and suicides even in our country. Is not it time for us to start to put in order our own “house”?